Attack!

Lately my PC had a virus attack. Well nothing new for the two of us (me and my PC) 'cause it is being attacked every now and then! When I discussed about it with one of my friends, he said that the virus is in love with me!!! And every time I easily manage to attract 'him' (personification of Virus as Mr. Virus) to come and be with me... Though I counter argued, 'we' (me and my friend) concluded that Mr. Virus is falling for me and now on I'll have to live with Mr. Virus. Here is an extract of our conversation...

Crazycriketer: Hi! whats up?
how r u?


me: roof :D
me fine and chilling
how abt u?


Crazycriketer: u chilling?


me: yup
having a chilling life

Crazycriketer: oh.......
whats chilled up by the way

me: nothing chilling actually... just way of expressing!

Crazycriketer: ha ha

me: I'm fed up of saying "I'm fine thanku" so for a change I say this...
this even sounds informal

Crazycriketer: good

new slang


me: hmmmmm...

how were ur exams?


Crazycriketer: as usual


me: hmmmmm... as usual


Crazycriketer: ???


me: that means u did well & r gonna score good even this time!


Crazycriketer: ha ha... may be
lets see
y r u so slow today?
taking long to reply... busy?


me: not busy... my PC is again virus infected! :(


Crazycriketer: so u should welcome him!


me: yeah! that's the only thing left in this whole world to do! :X


Crazycriketer: take proper care of him!


me: it should not be him... it should be it
as usual u r again using wrong English!
God! how is this boy gonna clear his MBA entrance!


Crazycriketer: means the same...


me: no... it does not!
don't they teach anything at ur MBA classes?


Crazycriketer: they do!


me: yeah! u must not be concentrating there... must be bunking classes
what can they do?


Crazycriketer: ha ha... no, I do attend classes... and thus I'm writing this...


me: so even they don't know proper English! oh God! look at the future of this Nation!


Crazycriketer: well I'm using metaphoric language... so I personified virus!


me: hmmmmm... seems like u r taking keen interest in English classes these days... who knows some day even u'll start writing... and end up with an awesome piece of writing!


Crazycriketer: :)
I think that day will never come!


me: y?


Crazycriketer: I'm not as creative as u r!


me: oh! thanks... but u r imaginative... I must say!


Crazycriketer: ha ha


me: u know what...
I was downloading "In Pursuit of Happiness" the movie


Crazycriketer: good! completed?


me: no! only 36% is complete and this idiot attacked my PC!


Crazycriketer: don't u have an anti-virus?


me: no!


Crazycriketer: then I'd suggest u to download one first.


me: my PC is now turned into 'hanging baby'!


Crazycriketer: ha ha
u always manage to attract virus!


me: don't u dare to laugh!
yeah yeah! the virus has a deep love for me!
he droppes in every now and then!
idiot!


Crazycriketer: well... Mr. Virus loves u! y r u calling him idiot?
see... every time he drops in to see u... without thinking about the consequences!


me: :( y does the virus love me? y not any one else? y me? God y me?


Crazycriketer: because u r special!


me: u just need a chance to tease me...


Crazycriketer: :)


me: here comes the virus...
now my dear PC is gonna hang and then alt+crtl+del will be my last resort...
then my PC will restart it self then again I'll have to log in every where... God I'm fed up!
some body plz save me!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------5 minutes

Crazycriketer: hello?

who is hung up? u or the PC?


me: none! my PC was confused...


Crazycriketer: y?


me: it was showing that u r typing something... so I was waiting!


Crazycriketer: well so what about the movie... which u were downloading?


me: 36% and Mr. Virus dropped in! :(
now I'll be downloading when he after the time has left!


Crazycriketer: he won't leave! :D


me: y r u saying that?


Crazycriketer: he loves u!


me: u r so bad! huh!


Crazycriketer: :)
I know! I'm so good at being bad!


me: ha ha
but I'll manage to kick him off!


Crazycriketer: and the he'll be back... return of virus!
he he


me: :(


Crazycriketer: Mr. Virus is very smart...


me: no smarty is gonna impress me... if I don't like him... then I don't like him
I'm quite clever! B-)


Crazycriketer: he is the cleverest!


hee haa haa!!!


me: I don't talk to every Tom, Dick and Harry... I have a lot of attitude... u know that very well


Crazycriketer: even Virus doesn't talk to every one! even he has a lot of attitude!


me: fine then I'm least interested! it's rightly said... like repel... that's y I don't like him!


Crazycriketer: he doesn't show any concern for me...
touch wood...
I always fail in attracting towards me, actually I don't go there where he lives...
and u r the one who always roam around there...


me: nope! this time I'm not the guilty! I didn't attract him!


Crazycriketer: really? then who did that?


me: dad was surfing... when suddenly a window popped and he clicked on it...
though by mistake...
and since then Mr. Virus dropped in! :(


Crazycriketer: if u'll step on snake's tail... surely it is gonna bite u!


me: God! with whom do u hang out these days... u r cracking horrible PJs
unbearable!!!
even u r behaving unusual...


Crazycriketer: well has the virus infected my brain or what? :O
help help!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------10 minutes

Crazycriketer: welcome back!
where were u?


me: PC hung up! so had to restart... and all :(
God this all is so time consuming!


Crazycriketer: :) yes it is!
then y don't u download an anti-virus? it may help!


me: hmmmmm...


Crazycriketer: coz it might be a spy ware or an ad ware
not necessarily a virus

me: hmmmm...
may be
well can u educate me abt it?

Crazycriketer: ad ware and spy ware?

me: yup

Crazycriketer: well......they result in frequent pop ups
and certain malfunctioning
....not necessarily very harmful

me: hmmmmm... some thing similar is happening on my PC


Crazycriketer: if ur dad has clicked some unwanted pop up... then it might be a spy ware
so download an antivirus...
or u know the better format
format it!
he he...
coz it will solve ur problem from the root!


me: ha ha... if I format my PC again... I'll be awarded PhD Format :D


Crazycriketer: u enjoy formatting...


me: no...


Crazycriketer: yes u do!


me: NO!!! I DON'T!!!


Crazycriketer: u love virus and u enjoy formatting

!!

hee haa haa

hee haa haa

me: hey hey
the virus is in love with me
I didn't commit
neither did I propose!!!

Crazycriketer: so what
u go to virus streets
he he

me: so... this proves that I DON'T LOVE VIRUS!!!
now what can I do? that's the only way to reach my destination!


Crazycriketer: he he...


me: well I think I should log out now...


Crazycriketer: annoyed?


me: nope... actually yes... but not by u but by Mr. Virus!
even mom is calling for dinner... so have to leave

(received a notification: puzzledlooks logged in)

me: now if I log out right now... someone is going to get mad on me!!! he he


Crazycriketer: who?


me: the one who just logged in!


Crazycriketer: puzzledlooks???


me: yup!


Crazycriketer: then better don't log out!


me: then mom is gonna get mad on me!


Crazycriketer: double trouble!


me: very true! even my dear will get mad on me... if I leave


Crazycriketer: DEAR??? who? :O
u never call any one dear! who is HE???


me: Mr. Virus! poor thing! what will he do without me?


Crazycriketer: see now... even u r falling for him! ;)



me: God! nooooooooooo plz this is not truth


Crazycriketer: (on behalf of God) that's the truth... U R FALLING FOR THE VIRUS!


me: :O


Crazycriketer: (myself not on behalf of God) so much concern for him!
hmmmmmmm... hmmmmmm... Mr. Virus is a luck man!


me: yeah yeah... that's the only thing left!
right?
care for him!
even if he is the last man in this whole world...
I'm not interested! huh!
he is the one who drops in every now and then!

huh! idiot! [-(


Crazycriketer: but u care for him... and u cannot deny that...


me: nah! I was just kidding!


Crazycriketer: oh! u broke his heart... u broke his dreams...


me: he must be singing "Boulevard of Broken dreams..."

(on behalf of Mr. Virus) I walk the lonely road...

the only road I have ever been to know (road to this PC)


Crazycriketer: not every one can sing...


me: but if we personify virus as Mr. Virus... he may sing...
hey... u gave a great idea for my blog... (basically here the idea of writing this blog hit my mind!)


Crazycriketer: good idea... then y r u using this Greenday song? better write a virus song!


me: ha ha... but this song is quite famous... so I'll think I should use this one...


Crazycriketer: as u wish... :)
so?


me: so??


Crazycriketer: so? ain't u leaving? still in double trouble?


me: nope I explained puzzledlooks that my mom is calling for dinner...
he said that even his mom is doing the same...


Crazycriketer: he he...


me: what happened?


Crazycriketer: even mine!


me: he he...
our moms share a good timing...


Crazycriketer: ha ha... very true...


me: so lets leave... or our moms will be mad with us!
bye, tc, God bless


Crazycriketer: same to u...
cya
cya Mr. Virus!
he he


me: huh! so much concern for him...
hey Mr. Virus y don't u go to the one who has so much of love for u... that he is wishing to see u again... :X


Crazycriketer: no no... u better be at her place... I'll drop in there to meet u Mr. Virus!


me: very funny! huh!
bye, have a happy meal!


Crazycriketer: take care... and have a happy meal!

After living with that villain for a few days... my PC was pestered... and so was I. She (personification of PC to a lady! 'cause the virus is personified into a man!) wanted to get rid of him & so she came up to me crying... I decided to find a hero for my blog and a life partner for her. Who can take proper care of her and protect her from all the evils in the world- the anti-virus!

Late that evening I was surfing net & trying to find out a good hero for my blog. Surprisingly Mr. Virus was dormant... I thought may be he is already scared of the hero's entry (he he)

As usual I was logged on Gtalk... Just after a few moments I received a notification...

Crazycriketer just logged in

And as soon as he signed in... a chat window popped up

Crazycriketer: Hi!
Still infected?


Me: :( yup!

Crazycriketer: I'm telling u Mr. Virus won't leave u... he loves u a lot... he is crazy behind u...

Me: very funny... ha-ha-ha


Crazycriketer: oh! so much of sarcasm!


Me: u'll feel the same... when some day he'll drop at ur place!

Crazycriketer: so how is he today?

Me: donno... didn't irritate me since the time I've started my PC today...

Crazycriketer: hmmmmm... might be... he went to shop a gift for u... just to impress u... ;) I must say... Mr. Virus is very intelligent! knows how to impress women! I think I must take his coaching!

Me: u just need a chance to pull my leg...

Crazycriketer: yeah! I do! ;)

Me: well well... here comes the villain...

Crazycriketer: hey check out does he have any thing in his hands?
I wonder what he bought for u!

Me: I think he has some problem with u... doesn't like u or what?
No I think he is jealous that I don't give even an iota for him... and chat for long with u...
yup! I'm right... he is jealous about u!

Crazycriketer: hey u left?
without even telling me... that's not fair

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------5 minutes

Me: I'm back

Crazycriketer: where were u?
dating with Mr. Virus? ;)

Me: nah! u see the level of jealousy... he did something... and I logged out of Gtalk... without even knowing abt it...

Crazycriketer: hmmmm... this happens...

Me: how do u know?

Crazycriketer: in love... ppl can do any thing...

Me: but this is not done...
I don't love him...
I've my own life... I have full freedom to decide what's good and bad for me... who is he to control my life? :X

Crazycriketer: don't u worry...
u'll fall for him... very soon...

Me: noooooooooooooooooooo

Crazycriketer: within a few days he'll succeed in making place in ur heart...

Me: hah before that hero will enter in heroin's life... and he'll kill Mr. Virus!
and then hero-heroin will live happily ever after
the end
happy ending :)

Crazycriketer: y r u dragging Mr. Anti-Virus in between?
y do u want that he should do this crime... crime of killing Mr. Virus?

Me: well this is the case of saving a woman... thus it's indirect self defense...
so u see it's not crime... it's help!

Crazycriketer: oh I see...

Me: hmmmm...

Crazycriketer: hmmmm...

Me: well 'he' is getting on my nerves...
so I've to log out now...
I cannot bare him any more...

Crazycriketer: okay....
me too... having some work to do...

Me: fine then... lets leave...
bye, tc, God bless

Crazycriketer: same to u




Finally I started up with downloading the anti-virus. After canceling the downloading a number of times (as Mr. Virus was trying hard to create all possible hurdles to let the hero-heroine meet) I succeeded in downloading it at 2 AM in the morning... (Yes I stayed all awake for my dear PC till morning 2... though I had my college early next morning and office the whole day ahead) I installed it as soon as possible and the hero was on work... late that night. He started scanning for the virus, taking off his breath step by step. The virus infected my PC at 54 points!!! Early morning I woke up... He was still fighting hard to save my dear PC. I left the PC on for the whole day.

Returning back home, I found the villain almost dead. The hero conquered over the villain and squeezed off life from him. Finally we (me and my PC) were at rest and at peace!

Since then my PC and Mr. Anti-Virus live happily ever after. :)


But...

After throwing Mr. Virus out of my PC's life... I again had an encounter with him! This time his victim wasn't the PC but indeed it was me!!! I had a viral fever attack!

Seems like crazycriketer was correct... Mr. Virus has seriously fallen for me... and won't ever leave me! :D

A few words of gratitude...

thanks to my dad... who clicked on that pop up window and made Mr. Virus visit!

thanks to Mr. Virus... who visited made the whole idea creep into mind (but this is no invitation to u MR. Virus! u better stay where ever u r!)

and last but not the least, Crazycriketer... who made me think in that way. :)